By Chip Minemyer
The Tribune-Democrat

Chad Johnson doesn’t know much about Spanish, but he knows numbers matter.
The pro football player has officially changed his name to “Ocho Cinco” because his uniform number is “85.”
Never mind that 85 in Spanish is actually “ochenta y cinco” (“ocho cinco” means “eight five”), the Cincinnati Bengals receiver is not the first to connect his identity with a number.
Russian writer E.I. Zamyatin - who influenced George Orwell, author of the numerically titled novel “1984” - envisioned a society where people were known only by numbers.
Rocker Bob Seger sang, “Feel like a number.”
For Pittsburgh Pirates fans, these numbers are almost as well-known as the names of the players who wore them: 8 (Willie Stargell), 9 (Bill Mazeroski), 33 (Honus Wagner) and, of course, 21 (Roberto Clemente).
When the New York Yankees pulled No. 4 out of circulation, Lou Gehrig became the first big-leaguer to have his number retired.
The Pittsburgh Steelers have retired just one number: 70 (Ernie Stautner).
But they are not giving new players some other famous numerals, including 12 (Terry Bradshaw), 32 (Franco Harris) and 75 (Joe Greene).
In stock-car racing, mention No. 3 and people immediately think of Dale Earnhardt (Sr., of course).
In honor of Jackie Robinson, Major League Baseball teams no longer issue No. 42 to players. And the National Hockey League has retired No. 99 - for Wayne Gretzky.
Like quirky numbers stories?
Catcher Carlton Fisk wore No. 27 with the Boston Red Sox. When Fisk changed Sox to Chicago White, he turned things around and donned No. 72.
How about this: Pittsburgh Penguins star Sidney Crosby wears No. 87. He was born on Aug. 7, 1987 (that’s 8-7-87). His contract calls for him to earn $8.7 million a year in base salary.
But the numbers game hardly ends with athletics.
Here are a few famous figures:
3:16 (That often-quoted verse from the Bible’s Book of John).
6-6-6 (The other end of the spectrum, it’s the number of the beast).
300 (Bad odds for the army of Sparta).
24 (Jack Bauer’s clock is running ...).
13 (It’s unlucky, especially if you’re on an Apollo mission).
10-4 (“OK” if you’re talking on a CB radio, good buddy).
221b (Where Sherlock Holmes lived on Baker Street).
8-6-7-5-3-0-9 (Jenny’s phone number, if you like ‘80s music).
3.14 (or pi - called by some the most famous number in the world).
2.718 (“e” - which is, according to the folks at auinteractive.com, not as famous but “just as cool as pi”).
1600 (as in Pennsylvania Avenue - where John McCain and Barack Obama both hope to be living in 2009).
Our language idioms are littered with number references, including these classics: “Two birds with one stone”; “seventh heaven”; “dressed to the nines”; “second to none”; “second nature” and “on cloud nine.”
For Chad Johnson, if he doesn’t have a big year, his number could be up.
Some would say he’s just looking out for No. 1.
Or perhaps he’s of two minds about who he is.
Regardless, “Ocho Cinco” can be glad he doesn’t play for the St. Louis Rams.
They retired No. 85 in honor of Hall of Fame player and sometimes actor Jack Youngblood.
And you’re probably left thinking this whole column just doesn’t add up.
That figures.

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Chip Minemyer is the editor of The Tribune-Democrat in Johnstown, Pa.